The Heart Will Always Remember
by beingbored
Summary: Tsuzuki has finally found a way to keep Muraki from ever tormenting Hisoka again. But there's a catch, one that may be more damaging to the empath than bad memories ever could be.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone. This is my first time writing for this fandom and I am excited to get started. I hope everyone enjoys this story that I put together. I try to update every week, sometimes every other week. Have a great day.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei.**

It had been a long day, a day of endless stacks of paper work. Each piece bleeding in with the rest to make one giant mess of words and letters in Hisoka's brain. It had been a long day of fighting with Tsuzuki to get him to do his work, instead of sneak off to the break room for snacks. It had been a long day of headaches and a never-ending workflow. And, now that it was over, Hisoka was exhausted. It was the kind of exhaustion that beat down on you, made you trudge on the way home. It was the kind that made every light seem too bright and every voice too loud. It was the kind of exhaustion that made you just want to collapse into a bed, pull the covers over your head, and drift off into a dreamless sleep. Letting your mind recuperate until the process started again the next morning.

The last case that Tsuzuki and he completed was actually relatively simple. Too simple to cause this massive headache at least. A young woman had died and failed to report. Naturally, Hisoka and Tsuzuki investigated and found a fairly gentle spirit that just wanted to go to one last piano concert. She had always been a fan of classical piano and hadn't wanted to miss a concert she had looked forward to for the longest time. Naturally, Tsuzuki empathized with her and somehow managed to convince Hisoka to let her stay on Earth a little while longer.

After the piano concert, the woman went quietly. There were no tears, no begging, nothing. Hisoka had to give the woman credit, at least she knew what she could and couldn't control. She went without fuss.

This case was simple. It was boring. It was still hard. No matter what the case was, there was always something difficult about it. In this case, the woman's resignation to her fate made Hisoka feel like he had done something wrong. This woman had never hurt anyone and yet, she had to die while others roamed the streets. It wasn't fair and Hisoka hated it.

Of course, the case also had tacked onto it an obscene amount of paperwork. Honestly, it wasn't that hard of the case. In fact, it was so cut and dry that Hisoka would probably forget about it in a matter of days. And yet, despite this case being simple and about as dangerous as a kitten, there was still hours of questions that needed to be filled out. How long did it take you to find the deceased? How much was your expenses? Was there any property damage? What spells did you use? It was like a never-ending sea of questions.

But, Hisoka could put that all behind him now. The paperwork was done and it would be a few days until Hisoka and Tsuzuki needed to go out into the field. Hisoka could take this chance to breath and catch up on some books he was reading. It would be a nice few days, Hisoka decided.

He stopped to take a deep breath in, the evening air filling his lungs. He was glad he got out of the office before the sun set. It really was a nice walk home and Hisoka hated that he was afraid of the dark. His eye caught a small shop that had not been there a few months ago. Curious, Hisoka stepped closer to see that it was, in fact, a bakery. A small thing nestled between two larger buildings. It looked like someone's house had been taken right out of the countryside and plopped in the middle of the city. It looked warm and inviting inside. Just like a bakery should look.

Hisoka's eyes raked over the rows of cakes and pastries that lined the walls. Maybe he should get something for Tsuzuki. The man didn't really deserve a treat, but it might convince him to work hard for at least half the day. It would still be a struggle, but Tsuzuki would appreciate something sweet like this. He was always glum after a case, even one like this.

Hisoka shook his head and turned away from the window. He was spoiling Tsuzuki too much. First it would be a cake every once in awhile. Then it would be cakes every month. Then, every week. Finally, Hisoka would be buying Tsuzuki a cake every day of the week. Hisoka still didn't know a lot about how this whole being dead thing affected the health of someone, but eating that much cake could not be good for anyone, even Tsuzuki.

But, Tsuzuki did so much for Hisoka. If Hisoka kept up his resolve then maybe one cake every so often wouldn't actually be that bad.

"Idiot," Hisoka cursed under his breath. It was all Tsuzuki's fault for making Hisoka feel things. Back when he didn't trust anyone, things were easier. He didn't have to worry about something stupid like buying a cake for a grown man. But here he was, still trying to decide in the back of his head whether Tsuzuki would like chocolate or vanilla. It was embarrassing really.

"I should be able to get someone a cake if I want and not sit here thinking about it!" Hisoka cried, waving his arms around and pacing back and forth along the length of the window. He was distantly aware that the shop owner probably thought he was crazy.

In the end, it came down to one simple thing: Tsuzuki cared for Hisoka. He made sure Hisoka ate. He made sure Hisoka slept. He made sure that Hisoka felt safe. Just thinking about it made Hisoka's stomach flutter pleasantly. He never had anyone care about him. And now that he had someone who actually worried about him, Hisoka found that he was enjoying the feeling a bit too much to let it go. Besides, Tsuzuki kept his emotions tightly locked away, probably even more than Hisoka. He knew the man was hiding something from him, but no amount of pushing would get Tsuzuki to open up. He hid his emotions behind smiles and the hyperactive personality of a three year old on too much sugar.

Giving Tsuzuki chocolate cake wouldn't help with the whole hyperactive part of his personality. But Hisoka felt that it would tell Tsuzuki that he did care about him, even if that caring was just in the form of chocolate cake. Hisoka turned back towards the shop and pushed his way through the door.

A bell tinkled, alerting an elderly woman that Hisoka had entered the shop. She looked up from her crossword puzzle and stood, smoothing out the wrinkles of her dress.

"Hello, dear, what can I get for you?" the woman asked. Hisoka thought she looked rather like someone's grandmother. She had wrinkles around her eyes and a plump figure that looked like something you would like to hug. She matched the shop well. The yellow walls with pink trim, the lacey doilies covering tables and chairs. Some things looked like the woman had knitted them herself. The smell inside was also rather enticing. It smelled warm and exactly like a bakery should smell. Along the walls there were several different deserts Hisoka could choose from. Jars of cookies, separated by flavor. Cakes, pies, and tarts, each looking perfect, like something out of a magazine. Hisoka felt his mouth watering despite the fact that he wasn't a big fan of sweet things.

The woman herself was clearly proud of every pastry she baked. Hisoka could feel her emotions, but they were pleasant, like a blanket. She spent hours each morning crafting the perfect recipes to display. Nothing short of perfection was ever seen on display. This was someone who clearly loved their work.

Hisoka looked around, trying to see if there was anything Tsuzuki would want. Well, Tsuzuki would probably want the entire store but Hisoka's bank account had limits. Tsuzuki was getting one cake. That was it.

He saw a chocolate frosted one and went to inspect it. It wasn't very big, you could only get about four or five slices. There were little strawberries circling the top, making a little crown for the cake. It was perfect.

"How much is that cake?" he asked, pointing to the sweet. The woman turned and carefully took the cake down from the shelf.

"Oh, this is a good one. It has a strawberry filling in the center as well as the strawberries on top. That would be 1624.93 yen," the woman replied. She beamed with delight and held the cake out so Hisoka could get a better look. Hisoka nodded and shelled out the money.

"Is this for someone special, a girlfriend?" the woman asked. Hisoka felt himself blush. Even just thinking about getting a girlfriend made Hisoka's palms go sweaty and his mouth go dry. What would he even do with a girlfriend? How often was he supposed to go on dates? Did he have to go to dinner and a movie or were there other options?

"Um, no, it's for a friend. I wanted to thank him for all the help he's given me the past few months," Hisoka answered. Hisoka decided that he didn't need to lie about this. The woman could stand to learn a little about Tsuzuki. She wasn't going to do anything with the information and Hisoka wanted to let someone else know that he did appreciate Tsuzuki. By tomorrow, she would probably forget everything Hisoka had said. The woman smiled and carefully placed the cake in a box.

"I'm sure he'll love it. Everybody loves cake as a gift. Take care now," she said, waving goodbye to Hisoka as he exited through the door.

The night air cooled Hisoka's face and he couldn't help but smile. He had never given someone a gift before. He wondered how he should go about it. Maybe he should put a bow on the box, or would that be overkill? No, just handing to Tsuzuki would be enough.

Hisoka could practically see the smile on Tsuzuki's face as he opened the box. First he would be confused as to what Hisoka had given him. But then, once he realized that it was a delicious cake, Tsuzuki would probably glomp Hisoka and hug him tightly, making Hisoka both uncomfortable and happy at the same time.

Hisoka was so lost in his own world that he didn't notice an unsavory emotion. An emotion that had caused Hisoka so much dread in his rather short life. It crept up on him, slipping in his subconscious before slowly overtaking the rest of his mind. A sick and twisted feeling, one that he could recognize almost anywhere. And, as soon as he realized what was happening, it was already too late. There was nowhere for him to run. Nowhere for him to go. Hisoka was trapped here with a man that was more a monster than anything.

"Well, well, what is such a young child doing out on his own so late at night?" Muraki said. His voice came from behind Hisoka. It was as if those words held some sort of power. As soon as Muraki uttered them Hisoka's feet became glued to the ground. They refused to move, only letting up their attachment so that Hisoka could turn and face his soon-to-be attacker.

Muraki emerged from the shadows as the moon emerged from behind the clouds. It was the color of blood and it sent shivers down Hisoka's spine. He had stayed too long in the bakery. He shouldn't have been out this late. He never was. He was so caught up in getting Tsuzuki a cake that he didn't even realize that the sun was no longer up. Before him, Muraki stood, smiling in his pure white attire. One might compare him to an angel. Although, angels didn't kill people for no reason other than to satisfy their own curiosity. The pure white that Muraki loved so much was never stained by any blood, though. It was as if there was something keeping the blood from sticking to the cloth. But now wasn't the time to speculate if Muraki just had a good dry cleaners, now was the time to fight. If Muraki was here, then that wasn't good news for Hisoka. And he would be damned if he went without a fight.

"What do you want?" he hissed. He could feel the curse marks start to burn as they began to etch themselves on his skin. Hisoka's heart was pounding. His legs were shaking and his stomach began to twist and turn, making him nauseous. Any moment he might throw up or collapse. It was a horrifying feeling, and one that he couldn't seem to escape. He was here, alone with the man who had killed him. Hisoka wanted to be gone. He wanted to be somewhere safe. He wanted to be with Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki was safe. Tsuzuki would protect him. Tsuzuki would come

"I don't think Tsuzuki will be coming to your aid tonight," Muraki chuckled. His ability to know what Hisoka wanted was frightening. Hisoka didn't dwell on this for very long. He had a job to do, and he would be damned if he cowered like a child.

"What do you want?" Hisoka shouted, hoping to attract some attention. Muraki was darkness, and death, and fear. His mere presence made Hisoka freeze in place, unable to move. Muraki chuckled and pushed up his glasses, revealing the fake eye that made Hisoka's hair stand on end. The only thing that kept Hisoka standing was whatever spell that had been placed on him.

"Is that a present for our dear shinigami?" he asked sweetly. Hisoka jerked back, his feet still glued to the floor.

"No," he lied. It was a stupid thing to do, considering Muraki probably knew everything about Hisoka, but he lied anyways.

"My sweet doll, you can't hide anything from me. I know you're not one for confectionaries," Muraki said.

"If you knew, then why did you ask?" Hisoka snarled. Each passing moment made Hisoka more afraid for his life. Muraki was toying with him. He was planning something. He was going to make Hisoka feel a lot of pain very soon. He wanted Tsuzuki and he wanted him snow.

"Why did you lie?" Muraki asked. His smile was widening to an impossible limit. He was close enough for Hisoka to smell his breath. It smelled like blood and death. The decay rotting away in the perfect smile, showing to all who dared look hard enough what Muraki really was.

"You haven't answered my question!" Hisoka shouted. "What do you want?" Muraki smiled and took a step towards Hisoka. If only Hisoka could clear his mind long enough, he could teleport away from here. It had to be this spell that Muraki placed on him. It was making it impossible for Hisoka to do anything beyond stand here and shake.

"You can't use any of your powers here," Muraki explained, taking another step. He was close enough to Hisoka by now to reach out and touch him. His hand brushed along the side of Hisoka's face, paralyzing him further. The hand remained, gently caressing Hisoka's skin. Muraki's eyes bored into Hisoka's, pushing through and making his barriers come crashing down. Now, Hisoka was fully exposed to this mad man. It was so painful, having all these emotions forced on him. But Hisoka couldn't even manage a scream.

"Haven't you noticed how weak you've become. It's all my influence, my doll," Muraki continued. Hisoka tried to jerk away from his hands, but couldn't find the strength within himself. "Remember, as long as I live, you belong to me. There is nothing you can do to escape from me," Muraki said. Muraki's emotions continued to bombard him without any rest. And not just emotions, memories as well. People Muraki killed, the screams of his victims echoing in Hisoka's mind. It hurt. Hisoka felt himself screaming in pain and vaguely wondered if anyone was coming to help. Could anyone even hear him? He really just wanted Tsuzuki.

**And that's the end of the first chapter. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and I should be updating sometime next Saturday. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I said I would update this like three weeks ago, but a lot of stuff has happened. Finals and Christmas and trying to sort out some things for the next semester. I have been really stressed. However, I had a chance to edit it tonight so decided better late than never. The story has been finished, I just like editing it to ensure there aren't as many mistakes. So don't worry, this story will be finished. Now that that's out of the way, let us continue!**

Tsuzuki looked at a bank clock across the street: 7:39 am. Crap! He turned another corner, spectacularly skidding across the sidewalk and avoiding some other people on the street. Hisoka was going to be so pissed when Tsuzuki finally got to the office. The previous night the boy had looked at Tsuzuki with that terrifying glare and warned him not to be late again or else there would be consequences. Those consequences probably involved bodily harm to Tsuzuki's head. Hisoka had a talent for turning things that shouldn't be considered weapons or aerodynamic into lethal and aerial ammunition. Honestly, the kid once tossed a desk on Tsuzuki. A desk! Tsuzuki felt his body push itself more as he caught sight of the building he had spent many years working at. He was almost there!

Not only would Hisoka be pissed and probably give Tsuzuki the silent treatment for the rest of the day, but Tatsumi was threatening to dock Tsuzuki's pay if he was late one more time. To think, he might actually have to go without desert for the rest of the month! He really needed to get a better alarm system. Maybe he could spend the night at Hisoka's. That was guaranteed to get him up in the morning, if only because of Hisoka's incredibly high and screechy voice.

A few more steps launched Tsuzuki through the doors. After practically flying through the hallways, disrupting some of the workers who were already there, Tsuzuki managed to burst through the door to the office he and Hisoka shared. Tsuzuki put on his best winning smile and jumped into his desk. Time to start trying to win back Hisoka's favor.

"Sorry I'm late!" he cried, plopping down his bag and shucking off his coat. Hisoka didn't reply. Tsuzuki began frantically searching for some paperwork to start on before continuing. "Traffic was awful," he finished weakly. He could practically hear Hisoka roll his eyes at the pathetic excuse. The kid probably knew that Tsuzuki was lying. Scratch that, there was a one hundred percent chance Hisoka knew Tsuzuki was lying. Being partnered with an empath really had its ups and downs sometimes. Not that the excuse would have worked on a non-empath partner. In reality, the line for cinnamon rolls was really long and once you're in line for a cinnamon roll, you can't just leave because of work. It also didn't help that Tsuzuki had a nice box of cinnamon rolls sitting proudly, if not a bit mockingly, on his desk. And you could smell them from a mile away. Hisoka probably knew the reason for Tsuzuki's tardiness before Tsuzuki even managed to get through the doors. But hopefully Hisoka understood the importance of getting a nice, healthy dose of sugar in the morning. Hisoka's silence was starting to bother Tsuzuki. Normally, by this time Hisoka would have hit him at least three times.

"Hisoka's not with you?" Wakaba asked. Tsuzuki's head whipped up, startled by Wakaba's sudden appearance behind him. It was then that he noticed the desk his partner normally sat at was empty. There wasn't even a used coffee cup on the desk. It looked exactly the same from the night before. There were no pens sitting out on the desk (Hisoka hid them so that Tsuzuki wouldn't steal them). There were no new papers spread out. The chair was pushed in and Hisoka's jacket wasn't hanging on the rack or on the back of the chair. It was as if Hisoka hadn't come to the office at all. Tsuzuki checked the clock on the table, 8:00 am. Yep, Hisoka should have definitely been here for at least an hour, maybe more if he didn't sleep well the previous night.

"No. He's not," Tsuzuki confessed, his mind beginning to wander, searching for explanations. Hisoka never missed work. He never stayed home. Even if he had gotten caught up in the library, there still would have been some sign the kid had made it to the office. Hisoka came when he was sick, when he was tired, when he hadn't eaten in days. Work was his escape from his loneliness. It was a chance to prove that he was capable of something. It was a place where he could prove he wasn't a monster. Hisoka would never miss work.

And yet, he wasn't here. Tsuzuki felt a block of ice begin to spread over his chest, taking away all feeling from his limbs. He bit his lip and started to pick at the skin around his fingernails. His eyes scanned the room; looking for anything that would help return his breathing to normal. His heart began to twist uncomfortably and his stomach started to flip. Suddenly, the cinnamon rolls made Tsuzuki feel ill.

After what felt like an eternity, Tsuzuki decided to take action. Hisoka always came in. If he wasn't here, then something terrible had happened. He stood up, the chair scrapping against the floor. He had promised himself long ago that he wouldn't let Hisoka get hurt under his watch. There was still a chance that he was blowing this out of proportion. There was still a chance that everything was all right. But he had to make sure.

"I'm going to see Tastumi," Tsuzuki said. Perhaps the secretary had sent Hisoka to do some errands.

"Don't you have work?" Terezuma grumbled. He lit another cigarette and glared at Tsuzuki, his eyes burning with the desire to start another fight. Tsuzuki thought about snipping back at the man, but decided differently. The fact that Hisoka hadn't show up was much more troublesome than Tsuzuki cared to admit. Something was wrong with the kid. Terezuma could wait. He wasn't important. Tsuzuki pushed past Terezuma. The man grumbled something under his breath but made no move to provoke Tsuzuki further. He understood the importance of keeping your partner safe. The previous comment was probably just force of habit, Tsuzuki decided as he made his way through the halls. This time, he had to control himself so that he wouldn't run like a possessed man. He couldn't afford to lose his head now. He arrived at Tatsumi's office. Taking a few seconds to compose himself, Tsuzuki then knocked on the door before walking in.

"About time you showed up. Is Kurosaki with you?" Tastumi asked, not looking up at Tsuzuki.

"Actually he's not." Tatsumi looked up, setting the papers down.

"But he's always here," the secretary said. Tsuzuki nodded.

"I want to geo check on him. I think something might be wrong," Tsuzuki said. Tastumi nodded.

"Come back when you find the kid. You still have paper work to get through. If it's not on my desk by this afternoon, I'll dock both of your pays." Tatsumi glared at Tsuzuki, making Tsuzuki slightly less anxious. If Tatsumi was willing to threaten Tsuzuki like that, then he must not be that worried. Hisoka was going to be fine. Tsuzuki could feel it.

"Don't worry! I'll be back before you know it and then I'll work extra hard," Tsuzuki said cheerfully. He waved goodbye to the secretary before popping out the door. The first place Tsuzuki decided to look was the library. While it was highly unlikely Hisoka was there, it was the closest thing to him at the moment. Hisoka often came in early to read before starting work. It could be that he lost track of time and simply fell asleep. Tsuzuki smiled as he thought of Hisoka curled up with a book. He knew that sometimes reading would help Hisoka sleep, especially if his insomnia was really bad. Of course, Tsuzuki was still banned from the library. So he had to sneak past the Goushoshin brothers. Not that it was an incredibly hard task. The two often had their noses buried in books as well.

After around thirty minutes of searching in all of Hisoka's normal reading spots (the kid had a lot) Tsuzuki hadn't managed to find him.

He decided it would be best if he tried Hisoka's house next. The worry in his stomach didn't lessen any more. In fact, it increased as the day went on. Something really terrible must have happened for Hisoka to stay away from the office. Could it be that he ran into Muraki again? Tzusuki's stomach dropped. He couldn't even fathom that. If Hisoka ran into Muraki, then he was probably with him right now. The doctor loved to torture Hisoka almost as much as he loved to pursue Tzusuki. Tsuzuki tore out of the library, running as fast as he could towards Hisoka's house. He heard the two brothers calling out in surprise and probably threatening him. But Tsuzuki couldn't think about that at the moment. He had let his mind wander to the worst possible scenario. And now the images of Hisoka with Muraki being tortured wouldn't leave Tsuzuki's thoughts. He could practically hear Hisoka's screams for help, screams for Tsuzuki. But Tsuzuki wasn't there.

No! He had to stop thinking like this. Hisoka was fine. He was not with the man who murdered him. He was safe. He wasn't alone. He was safe.

"Please be there," Tzusuki begged. If Hisoka wasn't, then Tsuzuki would be in a panic. He didn't know where Muraki would be. The man had a habit of disappearing. He had a horde of powers that Tsuzuki didn't know the slightest thing about. Muraki was the type of person who would only be caught if he wanted to be caught. Though, Tsuzuki would not react well if he found out Muraki was behind this. He would tear down the doctor for sure if he so much as laid a finger on Hisoka. There would be hell to pay. Tsuzuki may not seem violent, but he could get dangerous when provoked. He doubted Muraki would enjoy that side of him.

Throughout all his thoughts of revenge, Tsuzuki's body had acted on its own, carrying him to Hisoka's house. When Tsuzuki realized that he was there, he began to feel the consequence of sprinting the entire way. His lungs ached, his legs burned, and his heart was beating at an incredible pace. But Tsuzuki wasn't done yet. He threw open the door, letting it smack against the wall with a resounding crack.

"Hisoka?" he called out. The house echoed back at him. "Hisoka, are you here?" he called again. There was no response. Hisoka's shoes weren't by the door. That either meant he left for work this morning and never made it, or he never made it home last night. Tsuzuki prayed it was the former. He didn't want to think what could happen to the child in the twelve hours they had been separated.

Still refusing to leave, Tsuzuki made his way through the house. Perhaps Hisoka just left his shoes on. Perhaps he had gotten them wet and went to dry them. Looking through the house now, Tsuzuki realized just how few possessions Hisoka actually had. There were mostly books around the house, filling every nook and cranny. Tsuzuki had to laugh as he realized there was a book sitting in the kitchen sink.

Apart from the books, there were also a number of fish tanks decorating some tables as well as some picture frames. Most had Tsuzuki in them. Though other familiar faces could be seen in the frames. In the living room a plush couch took up most of the space. It was there mostly so that Hisoka could sleep there if he didn't feel like going to his room (this was normally caused by a burnt out light in the hall). An armchair lay directly beside it. This was for when Tsuzuki came over. It was just close enough to the couch that Tsuzuki could run his hands through Hisoka's hair while the child read.

And of course, there were lights everywhere. Lamps, flashlights, ceiling lights. There were sources of lights in almost every corner of the house. Tsuzuki felt a little smidgen of pride when he realized that the candles had been put away and Hisoka appeared to no longer be hoarding extra light bulbs. Perhaps he was a good influence on the kid after all. Tsuzuki's pride didn't last long as he flicked on a lamp.

So Hisoka wasn't here. He almost always had lights on. Tsuzuki bit his lip and made his way further into the small apartment. The only other place Hisoka would be was in the bedroom. Tsuzuki knocked on the door before pushing it opened. The bed wasn't made, but Hisoka rarely made his bed so that didn't mean anything. What was worrying Tsuzuki was the lack of Hisoka in the bed. Actually, the sweatshirt Hisoka normally slept in as well as the sweatpants were still on the floor. So Hisoka definitely left this morning, or didn't come back last night.

Tsuzuki picked up the sweater and chuckled. It was an ugly purple thing that he had bought on an assignment back in 1980. He didn't pack accordingly and was really cold since the weather decided it wasn't going to be spring yet. He had forgotten all about the sweater until he noticed Hisoka wearing it one day after Tsuzuki stopped by unexpectedly. He didn't think anything of it until he went home to look for his sweater, thinking he and Hisoka could match one day, only to realize that the one Hisoka was wearing was his. It was actually kind of adorable.

He jumped at the sound of the door opening. The sweater was dropped and kicked under the bed as Tsuzuki ran out into the living room. He didn't want Hisoka to know that he knew he had his sweater. That would just embarrass Hisoka, and not in the way Tsuzuki normally liked to embarrass him. Tsuzuki understood that it was like Hisoka's security blanket and he understood that Hisoka didn't like being compared to anything child-like. But he would scold Hisoka for making him worry so much. Honestly, Hisoka was supposed to be the responsible one.

"Hisoka, where have you been?" Tsuzuki asked. He put on a bright smile and turned towards the door. His smile dropped when he saw who was at the door.

"My little doll is waiting for us, dear Asato," Muraki grinned. Tsuzuki clenched his jaw. He was right. Muraki had Hisoka. He had probably hurt Hisoka a great deal. And now, he was going to try and get Tsuzuki to come with him.

"What have you done to him?" he growled. He was desperately trying to keep his anger from bursting out. He was close to summoning Touda so that he could roast Muraki alive. But Muraki had Hisoka. Tsuzuki couldn't risk it just yet.

"Not to worry. This time I'll take you straight to the boy. Then we can discuss the best way to let him go," Muraki said with another grin. Tsuzuki reached in his pocket to pull out a fuda.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. My men have direct orders. As soon as my heart stops beating, so does the child's," Muraki laughed. Tsuzuki pulled his hand out of his pocket. This time was going to be the last time Muraki ever hurt Hisoka.

**This was mostly a filler chapter, but some important stuff does happen that will come into play later. I hope everyone is having a great weekend. See you soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay in getting this to you guys. Hopefully this chapter will make up for the wait. Don't worry, I will finish this fic if it's the last thing I do. Onto depressing stuff!**

There were two worlds, parallel to one another: what was outside the car and what was inside the car. Outside, the sun was shining. Tsuzuki could see couples walking along the side of the road, going for a romantic stroll. He could see school children running home, chasing after each other, playing and laughing. Even the cars next to him seemed to occupy this seemingly happy world. Each rushing by the black car that currently held a psychopath and a god of death. Tsuzuki could hear inaudible laughter, the rush of wind as another car passed by them. That was the world outside. A world without fear or death. A world where kids only had to worry about getting their homework done. It was a world without a lot of fear.

Then, inside that dark car, shiny and clean, there was a world of evil. Of hate. Of violence and depression. There was no laughter or happy words. There was only silence. Tsuzuki couldn't even hear Muraki breathing. Any noise was created by that other world. And even that was muffled. Muraki sat across from Tsuzuki, his arms crossed, his legs crossed, a small smile playing on his face. His eyes trained to Tsuzuki, never once moving off him. Tsuzuki wasn't even sure if Muraki had blinked in the hours it had taken them to drive. He wondered if Tatsumi was starting to get worried. He wondered if Watari had gone to look for Hisoka as well. Tsuzuki closed his eyes and tried to ignore Muraki's stare. Pressing himself against the stiff leather, Tsuzuki shifted, trying to get away from those mismatched eyes. But they penetrated into his very soul. There would be no escape this time. Tsuzuki couldn't take the silence any more.

"Did you hurt him?" he asked. His voice cut through the car, sounding louder than Tsuzuki meant it to. He wondered if the driver knew what Muraki had done, what he was. He wondered if Hisoka would be mad at him. He wondered if Hisoka was scared, crying for Tsuzuki to save him like he did when he dreamed. He wondered if he would ever be able to look Hisoka in the eye again, knowing that he couldn't protect him like he promised. Muraki took off his glasses and began polishing them. His eyes slipped closed and the smile widened, showing off a row of perfectly polished teeth. Tsuzuki was about to repeat his question, when Muraki raised his head and gave Tsuzuki a kind, if not mocking smile.

"What kind of doctor would I be if I didn't test my patient's stamina?" he said smoothly, like he wasn't talking about attacking a child. Tsuzuki's eyes widened. He felt a prickling heat spread below his skin. What he wouldn't give to kill Muraki here and now.

"You bastard, if you've hurt Hisoka in anyway—" Muraki chuckled, causing the anger to become more persistent in its demands. There was no way Muraki could be human. No human was this empty.

"I just gave him a full body examination. No more than what I did in our first meeting, or any of our other previous rendezvous. Try not to look so upset. The boy's still alive," Muraki said. He gently placed his glasses back on his face, adjusting them slightly so the light reflected for just a brief moment. Tsuzuki ground his teeth together, trying to get himself under control. Muraki was egging him on. He wanted Tsuzuki to lose his head and do something stupid. But, if Tsuzuki attacked Muraki, Muraki could make things worse for Hisoka. He had him in some hellhole probably surrounded by men and women who couldn't wait to get a chance to hurt Hisoka in some way. Tsuzuki didn't doubt that for all the hell Muraki put Hisoka through, he still had ways to make it a thousand times worse.

Finally, as the sun was starting to dip in the sky, the car slowed to a stop. Tsuzuki looked out the window to see a large house, sitting just outside the city. He could still hear the distant rush of traffic from the highway. It wasn't very inconspicuous and he wondered how no investigations had led them to this place. The outside was impeccable. Each plant and shrub was groomed to perfection. The house itself was painted an off-white color, the house itself spreading to the sides, as if stretching and showing it's full size. Tsuzuki spent such a long time in awe of the house that he didn't notice when Muraki walked to his door, opening it up for him. Tsuzuki looked up to see Muraki bow slightly.

"If you would be so kind as to follow me. I have a lovely meal planned for the evening and I would hate for it to get cold," Muraki said. Tsuzuki ducked out of the car, pushing away Muraki's offered hand. He had no plans to stay longer than he needed to.

"This is where Hisoka's at?" he asked. Muraki sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Tsuzuki, how could you? You are in the company of a much stronger man. And yet, all you can think about it that boy," Muraki said dramatically. He looked at Tsuzuki as if he were being a difficult date, someone that wasn't easy to please. Tsuzuki felt his hatred and anger flare up. It was like Muraki wanted Tsuzuki to lose control, to hurt him, burn him. "You might want to be careful, though," Muraki warned. Tsuzuki stopped and turned to face Muraki.

"What do you mean?" he growled. Muraki rolled his eyes and sighed again, this time massaging his brow.

"The child's in an emotionally compromised state at the moment. If you let your emotions run unchecked, you could scare him more than I ever could. Think about it, Asato, the boy thinks of you as his protector. What would he think if he saw such murderous thoughts float through your head? Why, he might be afraid that you'll lock him up, beat him, refuse to touch him. And you don't want him to shake with fear every time you so much as look at him," Muraki hissed.

"I would never hurt Hisoka. He knows that!" Tsuzuki shouted. There was no way Hisoka could ever think that Tsuzuki was capable of laying a hand of him. Muraki let out a laugh.

"His parents loved him and never hurt him. Until he was six. What a wondrous year that was. Oh, I get chills just thinking about how his father beat him. How his mother rejected him. To the boy, it's only a matter of time before you turn on him as well," Muraki said, reciting every word as if they were part of a sweet and beautiful poem. Tsuzuki took a few deep breaths, thinking thoughts of happiness and warmth. He would not allow Hisoka to be afraid of him. He would prove to the child that he would never turn on him, never hurt him. Tsuzuki turned and continued making his way up the path.

They finally arrived at the door, each moment passing more slowly than the last. Muraki once again held it open for him, ever the gentleman. Tsuzuki stepped inside. The inside was just as over the top and luxurious as the outside. Muraki spared no expense to make this place look like a celebrity owned it.

"Please, put your coat on the rack. I have a feeling you'll be staying for a while." Muraki grinned. Tsuzuki shrugged off his coat and gently placed it on a hook. He then removed his shoes and was led further into the house. None of the rooms disappointed him. Each door they passed by showed a glimpse into a magnificent drawing room, a fantastic bedroom, a large kitchen. Finally, after so many doors, Muraki opened one and led him in. This room was slightly less impressive as some of the others. The lighting was dim and there weren't a lot of decorations. The room was simply a large dining room. There was a dark wooden table in the center, the candles reflecting off the polished surface. Two chairs sat next to each other towards the middle, close enough for Muraki to touch Tsuzuki if he so wanted.

"Please have a seat," Muraki said, gesturing towards the chairs. Tsuzuki was about to protest, about to resist, but Muraki had the advantage right now. It was best not to try and argue with him. He slipped into a chair; thankful Muraki didn't pull it out for him. There were several vases of flowers, red roses to be exact. They were lined neatly along the table, breaking only for a chocolate cake with strawberries at the top.

Tsuzuki thought Muraki was going to sit down. However, he instead glided over to the cake before cutting a neat slice from it. It wasn't a very big cake, only enough for four of five slices. Muraki gently set it on a plate, keeping the cake looking perfect. He repeated the process over. Carrying the two plates, Muraki set one in front of Tsuzuki before sitting down next to him.

"Please, enjoy," he said. He picked up a fork and cut a small piece of cake from his slice before placing it in his mouth. Tsuzuki pushed his cake away. He hated when Muraki played games.

"I don't want any," he snarled. "I want to see Hisoka." Muraki swallowed the cake in his mouth before smiling again. Despite the fact that he had eaten a chocolate cake, there were no stains on his teeth. They seemed just as bright as before, both them and his eyes reflecting in the dim candlelight.

"Do eat up. Hisoka went through all the trouble to get you this cake. It would be rude not to eat it. Especially after he spent ten minutes trying to decide which one would be perfect for you," Muraki said with another dramatic sigh. Tsuzuki's eyes widened.

"Hisoka got that for me?" he asked. Muraki chuckled.

"Oh yes, my dear. It was rather adorable watching him pace back and forth in front of that store window, debating with himself whether or not he should get you the cake. And when he came out- oh!- such a look of happiness on his face. Like a child showing their parent a macaroni sculpture they did in school." Tsuzuki picked up a fork and took a small piece.

"Muraki, don't play games with me. I want to see Hisoka. You promised that if I came with you, I could see him," Tsuzuki said.

"He can't wait to see you as well. He was screaming your name quite loudly last night, if you need any proof that he misses you terribly. Normally, I don't enjoy having my lovers cry out the name of another while I paying so much attention to them. But in this instance, it was…exhilarating." Tsuzuki slammed his fists on the table. He had had enough of this man and his games. Muraki made the mistake of taunting him. He should have just let Tsuzuki take Hisoka and go. Now, now Tsuzuki was more intent on burning down this goddamn mansion and every living soul in it. Except for Muraki. Oh no, he wouldn't kill Muraki, but torture him. He would show this man how much of a demon Tsuzuki could be.

"Tell me where he is!" he shouted, his voice echoing on the bare walls. Muraki sighed and adjusted his glasses.

"Very well, since you seem to be so impatient," he said. A pair of pale fingers lifted from their spot on the table, snapping against each other, the sound bouncing off the walls. Then, the sound of a door opening. Tsuzuki turned so violently, the chair fell over. In the bright lights of the hallway, there stood a silhouette. It was one that Tsuzuki could recognize anywhere. Muraki forgotten, Tsuzuki rushed to Hisoka. Hisoka took another wobbly step into the room, the door slamming shut behind him. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, that ugly orange sweater, jeans, and that jean jacket. Except, they weren't the same as yesterday. Even in the pale light Tsuzuki could see they were discolored, covered in dirt and blood. He could see holes in Hisoka's knees, a tear in the collar of the shirt. Tsuzuki gripped Hisoka's shoulders, relieved that he was still alive.

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki gasped, getting a good look at his face. There were no bruises; no doubt due to Hisoka's increased healing ability. But his face was covered in mud and blood. There were tear tracks running through the grime, leaving streaks of pale skin exposed. Something was wrong here. "Hisoka, what's wrong? What's hurting," Tsuzuki said gently. Hisoka didn't respond. He stood there shaking, his head lowered. Tsuzuki felt his heart break at the sight, kneeling down so that he could look into Hisoka's eyes. He gently placed a hand on Hisoka's cheek, trying to reassure the child that he was safe now.

"'Soka, please talk to me," he begged. His thumbs gently ran over the kid's cheekbones, wiping away the dirt, tears, and blood that had accumulated on his face. Hisoka didn't say anything, just continued to shake with fear. Tsuzuki looked closer to see that Hisoka's eyes were blank. He was under Muraki's spell, probably unaware that Tsuzuki was even here to begin with. Tsuzuki slumped forward before standing up and wrapping Hisoka in his arms. "I'm so sorry, 'Soka. I'm so sorry," he whispered, pressing his face into the boy's hair. He pressed Hisoka closer to him, trying to protect him from the world. The shaking began to decrease slightly. Tsuzuki realized that Hisoka's arms had come to loosely wrap around Tsuzuki's body.

"Tsu'ki," he slurred. The arms tightened and Tsuzuki felt his shirt being soaked with new tears. Tsuzuki began running his fingers through Hisoka's hair, trying to calm him. Hisoka's response was to cry harder and cling to Tsuzuki tighter.

"Shh, I'm here now," he said. "I won't let anything else happen to you." Hisoka continued to sob into Tsuzuki's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't leave me," Hisoka sobbed, the words struggling to be formed through the hiccups and coughs. Tsuzuki struggled to try and calm Hisoka. It was like each moment he was with him Hisoka became more hysterical. All he could do was hold on a little tighter and pray that the child knew that Tsuzuki was here and that he was safe now. Muraki sighed, bringing Tsuzuki back to the situation.

"While this is all very touching, I think we have some things to discuss," he said. Tsuzuki held Hisoka even tighter, if that was even possible.

"Why can't you just leave Hisoka alone? Why do you keep tormenting him? You've had your fun!" Tsuzuki said. He was trying to keep his emotions in check. The last thing Hisoka needed was a blast of hatred from him. Muraki grinned and stood up.

"My dear Tsuzuki, you don't know just how special Hisoka is. To be eternally sixteen. He's at a ripe age. Eternally young and beautiful. I could have fun with him forever," Muraki said, motioning towards the shaking, trembling mess in Tsuzuki's arms. Tsuzuki clenched his jaw and forced himself to feel calm so that Hisoka wouldn't be injured.

"What do you want?" Tsuzuki asked. Muraki looked surprised at the question. He shook his head and regained his composure.

"I want you," Muraki said. Tsuzuki looked down at Hisoka, who had calmed down slightly. He had to keep Hisoka safe. He couldn't let something like this happen again. Right now, Muraki posed a threat to Hisoka and the rest of the shinigami. And right now, Tsuzuki was a perfect position to bargain with this mad doctor.

"If I agree to come with you, and not to fight you, will you leave Hisoka alone?" he asked. Muraki looked surprised again. He quickly wiped the look off his face and replaced it with that predatory smile he was so good at.

"Interesting proposal. Too bad dear little Hisoka would never go for it. I'd release him from his spell and before you know it, he would be back here, fighting for you." Muraki said. Damn, Tsuzuki hoped Muraki wouldn't realize that. But he still refused to leave here without some guarantee that Hisoka would be safe from Muraki. He thought about it some more until another thought hit him. Adjusting his grip on Hisoka, Tsuzuki turned to face Muraki, standing tall and looking the mad doctor in the eye. This man would never hurt Hisoka again.

"What if you were to make him forget?" he asked. Out of all the times Tsuzuki surprised Muraki, this one was probably the best. His eyes widened, his eyebrows raised, and his mouth dropped open. Tsuzuki had rendered Dr. Muraki speechless.

"Excuse me?" he asked after several moments.

"You made him forget things before. Why can't you do that again, with everyone who's known me?" Tsuzuki asked more strongly. Muraki turned from Tsuzuki and began mumbling to himself. He let out a low chuckle before turning back to Tsuzuki.

"I think you have an excellent mind, Asato," he grinned. "I'll make all of your friends forget you, and you get to stay here, with me. In return, I won't touch the boy," Muraki said. Tsuzuki nodded. He had to ensure his own rules applied to this contract as well.

"If you go near him, I will break our contract and I will fight you. If you hurt him ever again, I will kill you," Tzusuki threatened. Muraki let out a laugh, causing Hisoka to shake even harder.

"Very well, we have a deal. Keep in mind, Tsuzuki, if you place any sort of spell on the boy that weakens my memory spell, there will be consequences. If it appears that he is remembering you, I will take him back here. I will rape and torture him in front of you. And then I will kill him in the slowest possible ways," Muraki warned. The warning didn't surprise Tsuzuki; he figured Muraki would have a clause like that. But hearing it verbalized sent a shudder through Tsuzuki's body. If what Muraki was doing now wasn't considered painful, then Tsuzuki was afraid to even think about breaking the contract.

"Alright. I understand," Tsuzuki said. Muraki clapped his hands together, grinning like a maniac.

"Very well then. I'll erase everyone's memories. By tomorrow, you will have never existed. And then, I'll have you all to myself," Muraki said. Tsuzuki fought the urge to punch the man. It would free Hisoka from his burdens. he would find someone else to take care of him. He would find someone else to make sure that he ate enough, someone who would chase away the nightmares. Maybe Watari. Or hell, even Terezuma could be comforting at times. Hisoka would be fine, Tsuzuki told himself.

oOoOoOo

By the time they arrived back at Hisoka's small house, several men were there, taking various items out and throwing them unceremoniously into the back of a truck. Tsuzuki saw pictures, books, blankets, even lamps, being dragged out into the open. Tsuzuki looked down at the small, sleeping child in his arms. Hisoka had such a loud personality, until you took away his voice. Then, then he was just a child, begging for attention and love. Begging for someone to keep him safe from the monsters of the world. If there was anyone who didn't deserve what life threw at him, it was Hisoka. Muraki opened Tsuzuki's door once more, motioning for him to step out of the car. Tsuzuki glared at him and adjusted his grip on Hisoka, making sure he was secure in Tsuzuki's arms. Luckily, Hisoka didn't weigh a lot so it wasn't difficult for Tsuzuki to step out of the car and carry him to the house. Muraki stayed by his side, looking pleased with his accomplishments for the evening.

"Why don't we go inside so that you can help clean the boy up," Muraki said with a predatory grin. Tsuzuki didn't doubt that Muraki wanted to see Hisoka naked one last time before he switched his sights to Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki clutched Hisoka's body closer to his chest. He would not allow Hisoka to go through any more humiliation than needed.

"I _won't_ be needing help. I can clean him up just fine on my own," Tsuzuki said, his words laced with bitterness. Hisoka reached up and loosely gripped Tsuzuki's collar, mumbling in his sleep about talking fish. Tsuzuki felt a lump begin to grow in his throat. This was really it for him and Hisoka. He was never going to see the kid ever again. Tsuzuki began to panic. What if Hisoka wasn't well taken care of? Could he really count on Watari to make sure there was plenty of fruits and vegetables in his cupboards? Could Tatsumi be trusted to come check on Hisoka once on his days off to ensure he left the house and wasn't just sitting in a corner reading? Could somebody really be trusted to help Hisoka through his panic attacks? What about when his empathy overwhelmed him and caused him to collapse? Did they know what to do then? But it was too late now. Tsuzuki had made a deal with the devil and he had to honor that deal. Tsuzuki shook his head, trying to push the bad thoughts away. Hisoka would be fine. He would be well taken care of.

Tsuzuki rushed past Muraki straight into the bathroom. He gently placed Hisoka on the ground before closing the door.

"Mr. Tsuzuki, don't lock the door. I need to be able to check on you whenever I feel it necessary," Muraki's voice called sweetly from the other side.

"Go to hell," Tsuzuki snapped. Muraki let out a laugh and walked away. Tsuzuki rolled up his sleeves and filled the tub with hot water. Letting out a sigh, he maneuvered Hisoka so he could undress him better. Hisoka whimpered, breaking Tsuzuki's heart even more. "This will make you feel better, 'Soka," he said softly. Hisoka didn't fight him as he pulled off the remaining cloths. Tsuzuki realized that he didn't have anything to put Hisoka in after the bath. He spotted a hamper and rifled through it, looking for some clothes that didn't look too dirty or smell too awful. He found a t-shirt and some sweat pants, and decided they were perfect.

Tsuzuki turned the bath water off and tested it too make sure it wasn't too hot. Deciding it wasn't, he slipped Hisoka into the tub, supporting his head so that the kid didn't sink under the water. Hisoka hissed as his skin made contact with the water but didn't open his eyes. Tsuzuki set to work wiping the grime from Hisoka's body, going as slowly as possible to delay the inevitable. He wondered if Tastumi and Watari had already undergone their memory erase. What about the girl at the cinnabon place? Just how many people were going to get their memory erased? It seemed highly unlikely that everyone Tsuzuki had ever come in contact with would have their memory wiped. It just wasn't possible for Muraki to do that much magic. Tsuzuki was bombarded with memories of Hisoka's own memory wipe.

_~"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka screamed. His eyes were glazed with pain as he searched the room for Tsuzuki's face. Tsuzuki, despite Muraki telling him not to touch Hisoka, launched himself forward, pulling Hisoka into his lap._

_"It's okay, Hisoka. Just let it go," he said softly. Muraki looked angry but was too busy with the magic to make Tsuzuki let go._

_"NO! Don't make me forget! I don't want to forget!" Hisoka screamed, his back arching in pain._

_"Funny, the first time I did this you didn't fight quite this hard," Muraki hissed, increasing his magic. Hisoka screamed again, straining against Tsuzuki's arms._

_"Hisoka, it's okay. You need to let go now. It's alright," Tsuzuki said, trying to decide if he would rather Hisoka forget him altogether or remember him. Hisoka screamed once again, his voice growing horse from the constant use. Tsuzuki decided it would be better if Hisoka stopped fighting and just allowed Muraki to wipe his mind._

_"No! Don't! Please, don't make me forget. I can't forget!" he sobbed. Tsuzuki began rocking him gently, trying to calm him down._

_"It'll be over soon, Hisoka. Just relax. It'll be alright," Tsuzuki said. After a few more minutes of Hisoka and Muraki playing tug-o-war with his memories, Hisoka's body went limp. Tsuzuki watched as his eyes slipped closed, his memories being hidden away where he would never be able to access them._

_"Finally, damn brat," Muraki hissed, slicking back his hair and trying to make himself presentable again. Tsuzuki wiped some remaining tears from Hisoka's eyes._

_"He doesn't know who I am," he whispered. _

_"Not anymore," Muraki replied smugly. ~_

Tsuzuki shook his head, willing the thoughts to go away. He didn't want to remember Hisoka as being weak, as sobbing into his shirt. Hisoka was one of the strongest people Tsuzuki knew. He was no nonsense and made Tsuzuki want to be a better person, a better guardian. He would remember Hisoka as not being afraid to tell Tsuzuki off when he was late. He would remember Hisoka as threatening to touch Terezuma if he and Tsuzuki fought any more. He would remember a kid who wanted to prove himself to the world. A kid that had been called monsters but still had the ability to show kindness.

Tsuzuki heaved Hisoka out of the tub and was relieved to see that the injuries had mostly boiled down to some bruises and a few scratches. Nothing that needed immediate care. Nothing that was that noticeable. After dressing Hisoka, Tsuzuki gingerly carried him to his small bedroom. He laid the boy down and brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. There wasn't a blanket on the bed so Tsuzuki searched around for one. Finally, he found one. He brought it back over to Hisoka and covered the boy up with it. Tsuzuki turned to see a small stuffed penguin getting carried out of the room.

"Do you need to remove everything that connects me to him?" Tsuzuki asked, reaching out for the penguin. Muraki gave Tsuzuki a smile and grasped his hand in his own. Tsuzuki watched as the penguin was carried out of his reach, out of his sight.

"Yes, everything, my dear," he said before shouting some more orders at the men. That penguin was one that Tsuzuki had bought Hisoka when they went to the aquarium. Tsuzuki thought it would be a nice surprise for Hisoka, since the child had likely never been to a place like that. He picked a day that was the least crowded, made sure all his paper work was done, and then teleported Hisoka to the place. For all of his protests that Hisoka wasn't a kid, he thoroughly enjoyed the aquarium, running about like a five year old, pressing his face up against every display. He spent the longest with the penguins. So, when they were in the gift shop, Tsuzuki picked up a small stuffed penguin and gave it to Hisoka. Hisoka sputtered and said he didn't want the thing, but Tsuzuki had caught Hisoka holding hit in his sleep more than once. It was almost like a replacement Tsuzuki for the kid. But now, Hisoka wouldn't have it. And he wouldn't have Tsuzuki. It was like the air had been knocked from Tsuzuki.

All at once, he wasn't ready to say goodbye. He thought he had prepared himself for this moment. He spent time with Hisoka in the bathroom. He hand brushed his hand through his hair, memorizing how it felt against his fingers. He stared at Hisoka's face, loving how it appeared to be without trouble. He couldn't let Hisoka go, not now. He wasn't ready to be without the kid.

"Time to say goodbye," Muraki said from the door. Tsuzuki wanted to protest. He wanted to beg for more time. He wanted to plead with Muraki to let him wait until tomorrow, to let him spend the night by Hisoka's side one last time. He needed Hisoka just as much as Hisoka needed him. Hisoka kept him human, gave him a reason to live. If Hisoka wasn't in his life, Tsuzuki wasn't sure how long he would last before the depression sank in. He turned to Muraki to voice these thoughts, but the doctor was gone. Tsuzuki took a shuddering inhale. It was better this way. The longer he waited, the more reluctant he would be to go. Hisoka was independent. He would be fine. Tsuzuki had to believe that he would be fine. The lump that had been present in Tsuzuki's throat since they pulled up to the house was pressing against his skin, hurting him and making it hard to swallow. Tsuzuki took another shuddery inhale before kneeling down, his hand never leaving Hisoka's head.

"Well, partner, I guess this is it," he said with a hollow laugh. His words were barely formed due to the pain in his chest. It wasn't as if his heart were beating a million miles a minute. It was as if his heart had disappeared completely, unwilling to witness this. Tsuzuki sniffed and tried to keep the tears from falling. "If you were awake right now you'd call me idiot and beg me not to go. But I guess you aren't right now." Tsuzuki paused to swallow the lump. It just continued to painfully block his airways. Tsuzuki laid his forehead down on the bed, listening to Hisoka's breathing for a few minutes before continuing. He had to remind himself why he was doing this: so that the breathing never stopped.

"You'll be safe though, and that's all that matters to me. I know you hate hearing that, but your safety and happiness will always come before mine. I won't ever do something to save myself and not you. Sorry, kiddo, that's how love works. Huh, I don't think I ever told you how much I love you. You should hear it more often," Tsuzuki let out a dry sob before tears started leaking down his cheeks. "I wish I told you that I loved you more often. But you'll be fine. You know how to land on your feet. Maybe you'll find someone whose less annoying than I am. I know you hate how late I can be. And how much sugar I eat." Tsuzuki wound a strand of hair around his fingers, continuing to cry softly so as not to wake Hisoka. "Just be sure you eat three meals a day. And that you get at least five hours of sleep a night. Also, don't smoke like Terezuma. I know we're dead but it's not a nice habit to pick up. And be nice to Saya and Yuma, they really care about you. Try to make some more friends too. Look both ways before crossing the street. Be sure to do something other than work. Eat your vegetables. Don't make Tatsumi angry," Tsuzuki chocked out. He sat up and bit his knuckles, trying to hold back the tears, but they just kept leaking out of his eyes, spilling down his cheeks. He heard Muraki clearing his throat by the door.

"Time to go, Mr. Tsuzuki," he said happily. Tsuzuki nodded and stood up, taking some deep, shaky breaths to try and calm himself. He leaned over and kissed Hisoka's forehead.

"Goodbye, I love you," he whispered into Hisoka's ear. A few tears dripped off Tsuzuki's nose and onto Hisoka's face. The boy scrunched his nosed and went to wipe away the irritation. "Be good," Tsuzuki finished. He ran his hand through Hisoka's hair one last time before turning to face Muraki.

"Now, my precious, shall we get started." Muraki asked, his fake eye glowing in the dark. Tsuzuki flipped on a lamp near Hisoka's bedside, since he no longer had his night-light, and nodded. Muraki offered his hand to Tsuzuki but Tsuzuki smacked it away.

"Just because I am coming with you, doesn't mean I want to be with you," Tsuzuki spat. Muraki merely smiled and followed him out the door.

"You never know, my dear. You could change your mind," Muraki chuckled darkly. They made their through the barren house, even the armchair Tsuzuki sat in was gone, and back to the car. Tsuzuki looked back at the house as they drove away, watching it shrink in the distance. He turned to face Muraki. It wouldn't do to be stuck in the past. Now, he had to focus on keeping Muraki occupied and away from the underworld. That was his job now.

oOoOoOo

That morning, Hisoka woke up. There was a feeling of overwhelming depression sinking deep within his stomach. Hisoka sat up and switched off the bedside lamp. It was as if a giant hole had been cut out of his chest. Something was missing. Hisoka bit his lip and looked around the room. There was something that wasn't right about this place. Something was missing. But, with every minute that passed, the feeling slipped away. By the time Hisoka got to work, he no longer felt depressed. He no longer felt as though he was making missing something important. After all, Hisoka reasoned, there was nothing for him to miss. He was alone in this world.

**Yay! So much depression and angst in this chapter. I hope everyone liked it. See you next week, hopefully.**


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